


Eyes

by Davechicken



Series: Kylux - Fluff & Angst [143]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotionally Repressed, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 12:30:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9323678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Hux won't look him in the eyes.





	

To start off with, Kylo doesn’t notice. He doesn’t have that much experience anyway, so when they start off, everything’s great. Hux only mocks him the first few times until he sees how nervous Kylo is pretending not to be, and then he doesn’t mock him at all after that.

Kylo promptly throws himself wholeheartedly into _everything_. Everything. He’s prepared to try pretty much everything at least once (for Science), and he doesn’t really find anything he doesn’t like.

Mouth full of cock? Yep. Once he works out how to only gag in ways that don’t risk his continued existence, and to which Hux gets off, perfect. Lots of licking and sucking, and gazing adoringly up as he tries to get Hux’s attention. Hands in his hair, and salt down his throat.

Mouth _on_ his cock? Also yes. Very nice. Incredibly nice. Soft and warm and wet and it feels like he’s being loved with tongue and lips. Slightly more difficult, and Hux also won’t look up, too busy focusing on what he’s doing.

Bent over the bed… very nice. Good, deep penetration, whether he’s the one giving or receiving. Hands on hips and arms around throats and biting and kissing. Good for forceful sessions.

Hands and knees on the bed, also nice. A bit slower, a bit more careful. The same with spooning on one side, or rocking into one another whilst lying down. 

Chest to chest, legs around shoulders or waist, or sitting on laps… he likes this, too. More chance for kisses, and fingers in hair and on faces. Getting in so close he can feel breath…

But Hux just hides his face in Kylo’s neck, and won’t let himself be pulled up to smile at him. He bites down on muscle and won’t let go, or he closes his eyes and throws his head back. 

It’s… hot… but now Kylo is starting to worry. 

Every time he tries to catch Hux’s eyes (wanting to see what they look like when he’s in extremis) Hux turns away. Kylo tries to grab his lip with his teeth and pull him around, but Hux just chases the kiss with something like desperation. He turns his face, and the more Kylo tries, the more Hux insists on positions where he can’t really push the issue. 

Eventually, Kylo just… can’t take it. Hux has his face more or less in Kylo’s armpit, and Kylo just… it’s not working. He freezes when a hand touches his crotch, and he’s not…

“…do you… is there something wrong?” Hux asks.  


Yes, plenty. Kylo is ashamed. This has never happened before, and he’s scooting away, biting on his lip. “No. Give me a minute.”

“Kylo… do you want me to leave?”  


“What? No! Hux, why would you–?”  


Hux nods at his groin. “You don’t seem to be in the mood today.” 

“It’s…”  


“Is there something you… want to…?”  


Kylo looks up, and Hux lasts two seconds before looking away. It hurts like hell. Oh, does it hurt. “You hate me.”

“What?”  


“You think I’m ugly.”  


“Kylo… why in the stars do you think that?” Hux does look, now, and his eyes are aching with hurt of his own.   


“You won’t ever _look_ at me. You just want me for my body, you don’t find _me_ attractive, and I get it, but it–”  


Hux stops any more speech by pushing forwards, kissing him like an assault. His hands grab into the Knight’s hair, and he ends the kiss by resting his nose alongside Kylo’s.

“That’s not it at all,” Hux insists.  


“Then… why?”  


Hux’s cheeks heat up, and Kylo can feel it. “Look… into my head?” Hux offers. Hux _rarely_ offers this, so it must mean something really fucking big.

Reluctantly, Kylo slides his attention at the edges of Hux’s thoughts. Hux is still burrowing into his neck, and it’s weird, because all of a sudden he gets flashes of emotion, more than thought. Embarrassment. Shame. Fear. 

“You’re afraid of me?”  


“ _I’m afraid of what you’ll see on my face_.”  


“Hux…”  


Hux pulls back, sitting a little away, his eyes still down. His face is utterly red, now, and he’s shuffling. “This is _embarrassing_.”

“…because…?”  


“Because I’m ridiculous! Because I’m acting like a love-struck _teenager_ , Kylo. It’s too much, and I don’t know how you live your life if you feel this deeply all the damn time! I’m not su—”  


Supposed to. Not supposed to feel. 

Kylo remembers that, remembers that feeling. His eyes slant to the mask that keeps him protected from the world, and he lifts his hand, pulling it to the bed.

“…what are you doing?” his lover asks.  


“I’m putting this on you, so you can practice looking at me.”  


“But–”  


“If you know I can’t see you, you can try slowly. You can see how much I love _you_ , and you can know when you’re ready, that you can take it off.”  


“Kylo, that’s absolutely absurd. I don’t need a _mask_ to have sex.”  


“No, but… try it?”  


Hux shakes his head. “I’ll just… try harder. If it matters that much to you. But… don’t chase me?”

Kylo nods. “I won’t. Except for kisses. But not for… you know. Looking.” He didn’t want to make Hux feel uncomfortable, and likewise Hux hadn’t meant it for him. But they both _are_ , so something has to change. If not action, then reaction. 

Hux curls up into himself, his hands twisting fingers into himself. “I’m sorry I ruined… you know.”

“You didn’t. How about we… just watch a holo for a bit? And cuddle? Maybe we’ll feel more like it, later?” Because Kylo’s pretty sure Hux isn’t actually up for sex right now, either. Which is good, because Kylo isn’t aroused at all. 

“I’d like that,” Hux agrees.  


Kylo drops his mask, and moves up the bed, patting his side. “Come here, Nerf. You’re ridiculous, and I love you.”

Hux flushes even hotter, and Kylo smirks. “Making me embarrassed is also rude.”

“You’re cute when you blush.”  


“KYLO.”  


“Okay, okay… less teasing, too. Got it.” He kisses Hux’s red ear, and pulls him in to his neck, so he can hide some more. He’ll have to be more gentle with his General. But he’s prepared to try.  



End file.
